Man to man?
by Sabby-Sama
Summary: Reno loves how he can have man to man conversations with Rude. Kinda sorta. Too bad Rude doesn't feel the same way when Reno pisses him off the deepend.


Disclaimer: *Checks watch* As of now, I still do **not** own Final Fantasy 7! ...Darn.

Warning: Slight language.

Yo guys! I don't have the Internet during the day, so to entertain myself i've been writting some short stories. Just think of it as all of ya'lls Christmas in August presents! The short stories I have written is this one; _Man to Man?_, _Tanning,_ and _Fun and...Notes? _Check 'em out! When you do, you'll seriously be wondering if I have any mental problems with all the zany-ness! xD Review and all that and you just find your self in the lucky department when I release new stories ;D

~Sabby-Sama

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><p>"Yo, you ever been to McChocobo?" Reno, the redheaded Turk asked Rude as he leaned back into his office chair and propping his feet on his desk.<p>

"Why, you want to take me there on a date sometime?" The dark skinned man replied as he looked up from his paper work. He too sat at his desk in their shared office. Reno snickered. "Hey jus' askin', yo! Wasn't sure if you were too anti-social to not go to a fast food joint."

Rude mumbled something as Reno got up from his chair and looked over Rude's shoulder at his paper work. "Yo, is that the report for Tseng?" The redhead asked while pointing to the paper and tapping it. "I never do that shit. Your a goody-two-shoes, Rude!" Reno laughed as Rude looked up and glared at him through his glasses. "Excuse me if I plan on keeping my job." Reno shrugged that off and walked back to his desk.

"So, partner! What kinda burgers do you like from McChocobo?" Reno inquired.

He was bringing up any topics that came to his silly little brain to talk about since he was always bored at this hell hole of a job. He was back in his same poistion, feet up, leaned back but with his arm over his eyes now as if he was taking a nap.

"Raw." Rude replied emotionlessly from across the room.

Reno lifted his arm and gave a strange look to Rude.

"You eat...raw burgers? Dude, don't you get sick from that? Doesn't it bother you having all those creepy-crawlies from that raw meat just chillin' in ya?"

"No." Rude replied to no question in particular.

Reno laughed, "Your such a weird guy, Rude! But that's what makes you a more intresting pal than Tseng or Elena." He put his arm back over his eyes. He continued to speak, "Tseng is too, classy, ya know? He just doesn't get me. And Elena, she's cute an' all but she stalks me everywhere. Plus she's always making me these sweets saying i'm too skinny and shoves 'em down my throat. I can't have man-to-man talks with those whackjobs."

"Thanks a lot, Reno." The other man said sarcasticlly.

There was silence for a while, the only sounds that could be heard was Rude scribbling with his pen on his reports and Reno's ear wretching snores as he eventually fell asleep. Reno was even annoying when he slept, Rude thought. But he wouldn't complain about this some what peaceful quietness. That was until Reno jerked awake.

Reno recovered from almost falling out of his chair in a half asleep state."Whoa, I just had a weird dream, yo!" Waiting for Rude to ask him about it, he decided he would make up for his lack of talking.

"In my dream,-wait a minute, I sound like that Luther King guy, the famous guy who looks like he can be your pops? I could be wrong cause I was never good in Science." Rude shook his head at what Reno said. He seriously wondered if redheads were as bad as blondes when it came to smarts.

"Science, Reno?" Rude asked with amusment in his voice.

"…Yeah?"

Dolt.

Good thing Rude was bald.

"Anyways! I had a dream that you wax your head with fuckin' car wax and shit." Rude stopped writing and looked across the room at Reno with a raised eyebrow.

"No, not actual shit. God that'd be weird. But do you do that Rude? Your heads always shiny and whatnot."

Reno was really starting to bother Rude with his nonstop talking. He was SO. ANNOYING.

The shiny headed man sighed, "No, Reno. I do not wax my head with car wax." The insistent redhead knew he was starting to piss off Rude so he kept at it.

"Ah, now I get it. You buff it AND THEN you wax it." Reno said glee shining in his eyes.

"I don't do that either." Rude wasn't really good at dealing with these kind of situations. He was a somewhat passive person, despite his job of killing for a living.

"So while I was dreaming it hit me: You look like my principal back in highschool!" Rude cut him off before Reno could say more.

"You actually went to Highschool? Would have never guessed."

"How else would I have gotten in the Turks? You of all people should know that. You read the goddamn Rules and Regulations thing for this job." Reno said before he continued on with his story.

"He had an uber shiny head too, yo. I remember once I got some spray paint and sprayed, 'Baldilocks' on his office door. I know, not very creative but I was 15. Got a month of detention after that. OH! And on Valentines day I snuck into the office and turned on the PA system and said into it ' Dear Mr. Bountskinowski '." Reno interrupted himself, "That was my Principal's name, newsflash. And yeah, it was a mouthfull. Heh, that's what she said" Reno snickered but continued with his story.

" 'Dear Mr. Bountskinowski , Roses are red, Violets are blue, You must use some nice ass shampoo, if you got such a shiny do' !"

Rude actually chuckled at the nonsense Reno was going on about.

"Heh, everyone in the whole school heard that. I wrote that poem myself, by the way."

"You're such a poet." Rude said rolling his eyes.

"I know right! Better than Edward Allen Pose chump, yo!" Waving his hand as if shoo-ing someting away.

"You weren't good at Literature either, I assume, Reno?" Rude asked.

"Actually, that's the only class I passed. Got a D+. "

Some more silence.

"I bet someone could go blind from the shinyness of your scalp." Reno started this conversation again after some thinking.

"Hopefully that person will be you." Rude said grinning. He had finally finished his work for Tseng.

"Hey, that's not a nice thing to say, yo!" Reno gave the finger to Rude. He was easily angered over insults. Even if they were harmless.

"We should experiment with that idea one day, yo. Like, get the sun at a perfect angle, reflect the sunlight off your head and see if we can cause a fire or something! I used to like doing stuff like that with a magnifying glass when I was a kid." Rude could easily picture this in his head, a mini destructive Reno finding enjoyment at burning things in the backyard.

"Or something really serious could happen. Like what if you were just mindin' your own buisness one day outside eatin' some icecream and your head sends a signal into outerspace and summons another Meteor. We would be in some deep fuckin' shit, yo. All because you wax your head."

Rude was starting to get overly pissed. He wondered if the ShinRa practice shooting range was still open so he can take Reno and have an "accident" happen.


End file.
